Yesterday I had a YouTube live, and each moment I kept thinking, “I look so ugly in this angle. If only I could adjust my laptop somehow to hide how HIDEOUS my face looks.” I hated how my teeth looked when I smiled, and I actually tried to remain serious so I won’t smile. But my guest was so sweet (she had no clue what was going on in my head), I couldn’t stop smiling. Halfway through it, I thought, “Fuck this. If people came here to see how I look and get disappointed if I don’t look good, then fuck them. I’m not here to present my face. My ideas are worth so much more than how I look.”
After that, things got easier.
And oh, I wish we could convince ourselves once and for all that we ARE beautiful, but I suppose it’s an ongoing battle. We fight every day. We win some days. On others, we don’t. What’s important is that we don’t stop fighting.
PS: For what it’s worth: I LOVE you and I’d LOVE to chill with you in PJs and 0 make up (not even Noah’s carpet, I mean the eyeliner) and I swear that would NEVER make me think ANY less of you. ❤️