Here’s what I would say if my partner asked me how I want to be loved.
Things that I don’t often say out loud, but are true nevertheless.
I want to be loved with nothing confining me, with nothing defining my boundaries.
I want to run, to fly, to stumble, to fall, to get up and run once more.
I want to make mistakes, to fuck up so bad, it seems the world would never be alright again. To take risks, to give up my job and be unemployed for days till I find a new one.
I want to write in cosy cafes, on verdant hilltops, inside log cabins by a blazing fire, cuddled up in my partner’s lap. I want to write till the stories inside my heart translate themselves into books,
I want to take pictures of lakes and waterfalls, clouds and empty meadows, rock beaches and trickling streams, and I want my partner to let me be. To let me do whatever my heart wants.
I want my partner to have goals he is passionate about, things that make his eyes shine when he talks about them. I will make it my life’s goal to help him achieve them (not that he should need any help. Just that, I will be there along the journey).
I have some pretty big dreams myself, and I want my partner to be with me each moment of the day when I work to make them come true. And when the day comes that I can finally rejoice in their fulfilment, I want him to be beside me, for the glory is as much his as is mine.
I want my partner to never lead me to that point when I have to choose between him or my parents. Or friends. Or job. I want him to accommodate, compromise, and adjust.
I want him to inspire and motivate me always.
I want him to challenge me to try new things. To renew me, to rejuvenate me from time to time. I will do the same for him.
I want him to love me for my writing. For the stretch marks on my shoulders. For the overly salted khichdi I cook for dinner. For the laundry I forgot to do and the errands I didn’t have time enough to run. For every imperfection, every idiosyncrasy that makes me, me.
I want my partner to trust me, to believe in me, to never try to control me.
I want him to provide a space where both of us can grow together.
I never want him to settle. I never want me to settle. I want both of us to keep pushing our limits, for the gods know, even conquering the sky isn’t going to be enough.
I do not want to be his everything.
I want to be his “Player Two” who is with him each step along the way.
I want him to be my “Player Two”.
I want him to be right beside me when I get that “Winner winner chicken dinner.”
I want him to show me what fills his heart with fire. I will show him what ignites my soul. And together, we will make a spectacle the world will remember.